So today as I sit in the sun and watch Sienna play it brings a little sadness and there is definitely a hole in my heart which I know will never be filled.
However life does go on, coming on holiday on my own with my daughter Sienna I wondered how hard it would be just the two of us and feeling safe etc and yes there was a couple of awkward stares at us which I have when we eat out, however it has shown me what a strong girl my daughter is and the bond we have. To be the awesome twosome.
We have been through so much and not a day even on holiday goes by where we haven’t said matt would like this or that etc
As I sit and watch Sienna I can see him looking down and swimming in the sea I swear I sense him here.
To anyone that has a little one who’s lost someone so special just keep going, go on holiday become an awesome twosome, threesome whatever make friends and be open yes you will play Mum and Dad and I have had my fair share of playing sharks this holiday so now I take on matts role, I was so use to sitting on sunbeds on holiday and watching them and I never really got involved more bothered in my tan. This holiday I’m proper amongst it and I can see why Sienna and Matt had such an amazing bond. I have shared some amazing moments whereas normally I’m just spectating.
Now playing Sienna and matts pool games makes me realise even more what an amazing person he was and how important to Sienna’s life he is and always will be.
I think me and especially Matt done one amazing job at bringing Sienna up.
Now the next holiday together Disney!